Do You Need a Relationship Policy?

Yes, you probably do. But don’t panic—this doesn’t mean you need to be the love police, nor should your policy be a romance-ruining roadblock. The goal is to maintain a positive workplace culture and avoid any sticky situations that could lead to favoritism, conflict, or even lawsuits.

Let’s dive into the details of why and how you should approach this delicate subject.

 

Why Should You Have a Relationship Policy?

Workplace relationships can be tricky. On one hand, you want to foster a collaborative, friendly environment where people enjoy coming to work. But a romance between colleagues—especially when one is the other’s supervisor—can lead to perceptions of favoritism, bias, and all-around awkwardness.

Scenario 1: The Bias Blunder

Imagine this: During a team meeting, one of your top employees suggests organizing a lunch to thank long-standing customers for their loyalty. It’s a smart, thoughtful idea. Then, Jannet, who recently started dating her boss, Drew, chimes in with a different suggestion—sending out a long-winded email and spending the budget on random office perks like floral wallpaper, Chick-fil-A gift cards, and essential oil diffusers.

Instead of politely redirecting the conversation or weighing the pros and cons, Drew gushes about Jannet’s “emphasis on teamwork and camaraderie,” even suggesting that “Steven Covey would be proud.” The room goes silent as everyone wonders whether Jannet’s idea was really that brilliant—or if something else is going on.

This scenario conveys how a romantic relationship, particularly between a supervisor and their direct report, can lead to perceptions of favoritism. Even if Jannet had a genuinely good idea, Drew’s praise would likely still be viewed with skepticism by the rest of the team.

Scenario 2: The Breakup Blowup

Now, let’s consider Dana and Sharon, who have been dating for about a year. After a rough breakup, the situation at work quickly becomes uncomfortable for everyone involved. Dana, clearly upset, dramatically drops a box of Sharon’s things on her desk, making a scene in front of the entire office. A few days later, Dana decides to quit, telling HR, “It’s not a healthy environment for me anymore ever since Sharon and I broke up.”

In this scenario, the breakup not only disrupts the involved parties but also creates tension and discomfort within the broader team.

Both scenarios highlight how workplace relationships can impact not just the individuals involved but the entire team. Without a clear policy in place, these situations can lead to a toxic work environment, where favoritism, drama, and discomfort overshadow professionalism and collaboration.

What Should Your Relationship Policy Include?

When crafting your policy, consider the unique dynamics of your workplace. Here are a few key elements to include:

• Define a Workplace Relationship: Make it clear that this policy applies to romantic involvement between colleagues, especially when there’s a direct or indirect reporting relationship.
• Address Power Dynamics: As seen with Jannet and Drew, relationships between supervisors and their direct reports can be problematic. Your policy should warn against this due to the potential for perceived or real favoritism and coercion. Consider requiring employees in such relationships to disclose them to management, so appropriate steps can be taken—like reassigning one of them to a different team.

At BerniePortal, for example, our policy doesn’t prohibit romantic or sexual relationships but does include a clear warning regarding relationships between supervisors and their direct reports. The policy states that such relationships can lead to perceptions of favoritism or bias, which can undermine the trust and mutual respect essential to a healthy work environment. If a relationship occurs, one or both parties may be moved to different departments, and the relationship must be disclosed to management.

• Set Behavior Expectations: While you don’t want to micromanage, it’s wise to outline what’s considered inappropriate behavior at work. This can include public displays of affection, arguments, or any behavior that distracts others or disrupts the workplace.

Consider including stipulations for how to handle breakups. For instance, your policy might state that arguments or dramatic displays of emotion are not acceptable in the workplace. Employees should be encouraged to maintain professionalism, regardless of their personal relationship status.

How to Create or Update a Workplace Relationship Policy

Creating or updating your relationship policy doesn’t have to be daunting. Here’s a quick guide to getting started:

1. Research Industry Standards: Some industries may have stricter guidelines for workplace relationships, while others might be more relaxed. Understand what’s common in your field.
2. Talk with Leadership: Make sure your CEO’s stance aligns with the policy. It’s crucial to have their buy-in, as this will set the tone for the rest of the organization.
3. Consult Legal Experts: Relationships at work can lead to legal complications. Get input from a legal expert to ensure your policy protects your organization from potential lawsuits.
4. Draft the Policy: Keep it clear and concise. Include the policy’s purpose, scope, and details about acceptable behavior and potential disciplinary actions.
5. Consider a Relationship Contract: In some cases, you may want to implement a relationship contract. This document ensures that both parties entering into a workplace relationship understand the company’s expectations. It can also include agreements about behavior during the relationship and what happens if it ends.
6. Get Feedback: Before rolling out the policy, get input from leadership and possibly even some employees. This ensures everyone understands and supports the policy.
7. Distribute the Policy: Once finalized, add the relationship policy to your employee handbook or culture guide. Make sure all employees review and acknowledge the policy—this can be easily managed through an HRIS system.

By creating a thoughtful, clear policy, you can help ensure that your workplace remains a positive, productive space for everyone, while also protecting your organization from potential risks.

Additional Resources

You can stay informed, educated, and up to date with important HR topics using BerniePortal’s comprehensive resources:

• BernieU—free online HR courses, approved for SHRM and HRCI recertification credit
• BerniePortal Blog—a one-stop shop for HR industry news
• HR Glossary—featuring the most common HR terms, acronyms, and compliance
• Resource Library—essential guides covering a comprehensive list of HR topics
• HR Party of One—our popular YouTube series and podcast, covering emerging HR trends and enduring HR topics
• Community—the HR Party of One Community forum, a place devoted to HR professionals to ask questions, learn more, and help others